Parents rediscover the meaning of life, Qiao Renliang passed away 7 years ago

Qiao Renliang passed away nearly seven years ago, and his parents gradually found the center of their lives after experiencing indescribable pain.

In the live broadcast, Gao Caiping and "Mr. Qiao" are a happy pair of food anchors.

In their sixties, they often purchase ingredients that are not easily obtainable, wash and brush them, then cut, steam, stir fry... to make various delicious foods. They are clumsy and serious, sometimes even messing up good food, but still enjoy it tirelessly.

These all happened after their only son passed away.

My son Qiao Renliang was a singer and actor who stood out in the first generation talent show during his lifetime. In September 2016, 29 year old Qiao Renliang committed suicide due to depression.

Mr. Qiao still remembers that on his way to his son's villa, the sky suddenly started to rain heavily, causing him to feel pain. He didn't believe his son had left. The son he had never had to worry about and had always been proud of, he was so handsome, lively, and cheerful... At the moment he received the death certificate, he almost collapsed to the ground.

Gao Caiping said that upon learning of her son's sudden passing, she was frightened and fainted.

After losing their independence, the couple rediscovered the meaning of life.

Everything is not easy. They still refer to each other as Qiao's father and mother, gradually becoming familiar with each other in front of the camera, and life gradually finding a new focus. However, when they turn around, there are still pain that cannot be shaken or dissipated.

"This shop is the hard work left by Qiao Renliang. We want to continue it and extend his spiritual life a bit, which is also a thought for us," said Mr. Qiao. This has become the meaning of their lives.

Qiao's parents are recording a short video. All the pictures in this article were taken by He Kai, a journalist from Pengpai News

Here are the oral statements of Gao Caiping and Mr. Qiao

"Why is this child so well behaved?"

Gao Caiping: Qiao Renliang likes singing. Every time I come back, I sing all the way home, and the neighbors around me can hear it. He peels edamames with me and sings at the same time.

Once, a primary school held an event and asked him to perform on stage. Later, because time was too tight, he couldn't sing it. He was very sad, and when I came home, I comforted him and said, "There's a chance next time."

His dream of becoming a singer may have started at that time.

His father is a sailor who runs around the world for half a year as soon as he goes out. We had a great relationship back then, and every time we arrived at a port, he would call back. Due to the time difference, the phone often rings in the middle of the night, waking me up. I am very happy to hear his voice. Qiao's father reports safety on the phone, asks about the situation at home, and sometimes mentions encountering pirates. I remind him to pay attention to safety.

I used to work at the postal bureau. After Qiao Renliang was born, there were many family matters at home, and my health was not good. I had asthma and often took leave. Later, I resigned and became a housewife.

I don't like to talk at ordinary times, because I am lonely and unsociable, and there are not many little sisters. I like living my life like this. Qiao's father is very talkative. He talks about his work, the scenery of the port, and the thrills on the ship, which I often get fascinated by.

Most of the time, I am alone at home with my son. Many times, when Qiao Renliang fell ill and snorted in the middle of the night, I took him to the hospital for treatment. During those days, it was really hard. Every mother should have experienced it, but I never complained because Joe's father was also very hardworking outside.

When Qiao's father returns to the port of Shanghai, I will take the child to pick him up. In the 1980s and 1990s, I had to transfer several buses from my home to the port. Although it was troublesome, I was very excited inside. At that time, we were all very young.

Perhaps because his father is often away from home, Qiao Renliang has been sensible and very well behaved since childhood. Several aunts really like him and envy me for raising such a good child, saying, "Why is this child so well behaved?".

He knows how to take care of others, and no matter what occasion he eats, he always hands me the first chopstick first. When I was young, when my dad came back from work, he took out his slippers and said, "Grandpa, you're back, you change your shoes." My parents also liked him very much.

When Qiao Renliang grew up, he often took me out to play and even brought me to gatherings.

Once, he took me to a bar on Huaihai Road to do some dancing. I went there and saw, wow! There were young people inside, and there was also a stage with music playing "dong dong dong"... Qiao Renliang comforted me and said, "It's okay." I was in my forties and had never been to that kind of place before.

"This is a hindsight."

Master Joe: I spend most of my time at sea. Qiao Renliang is mainly taken care of by his mother.

Every year, I have two months at home. In my impression, my son was very easy to take care of when he was young. As long as I fed him enough, changed his diaper, and let my mother watch, it would be fine. At that time, my mother lived downstairs, and we lived upstairs.

Many people think that being a sailor is a glamorous profession, but in fact, it is very difficult. When in a hurry, they have to repair and install the machines 24 hours a night because the ship is set sail the next day. The cabin was very hot, and people stayed there, dripping oil and sweat together. When I'm tired, I just sit next to the machine and doze off. Because I have been working in a noisy environment for a long time, my hearing is not very good now.

I have been a sailor for over 30 years, and after graduating from university, I have been working from the bottom and have been retiring on the same track. The first time I was sent to Osaka, Japan was in 1982, which was also my first time flying. Taking off from Hongqiao Airport, looking down, there is a surrounding area of farmland with only a few roads in the middle. When flying to Haneda Airport in Japan, there were towering buildings below.

I have been to several continents around the world, and I have been to the old world, hahaha. Although work is hard, I have gradually become accustomed to it. Every time I arrive at a new port, I always buy some local specialties or swim and play with my colleagues. Once, at a port in India, a few of us jumped into the sea and almost couldn't swim back. Looking back now, those days were thrilling, but free and easy.

I like to take my son to the park for vacation every year. At that time, I bought a motorcycle.

But as the vacation time grew longer, thinking about the expenses at home, Qiao's mother didn't go to work, and her child had to study, she became anxious and eager to board the ship. After spending a long time on the ship, I missed my family and son again.

I don't talk much to my son usually, such as his interests and future plans. However, when Qiao Renliang applied for college in the college entrance examination, he followed my advice and went to study at Shanghai Institute of Electrical Engineering. Graduates from this university find it easy to find jobs. Qiao Renliang may not like it, he has loved singing and dancing since childhood.

In 2007, when Qiao Renliang participated in the program "Go! Good Guy", I was not very supportive or strongly opposed, and in the end, I provided him with funding. At that time, I didn't know much about the entertainment industry either. Later on, seeing how much he liked it, he even won a second prize in the competition. When the program team came to interview him, his family members were also very cooperative.

If I had known the complexity of the entertainment industry, it would have been a delayed decision.

"Don't think about it, otherwise I will also be depressed."

Gao Caiping: He went to participate in the program, and I supported him at that time.

At the beginning, when we asked the teacher for guidance, Qiao's father refused. He felt that singing and dancing mainly relied on practicing on himself. During that period, he always stumbled and stumbled, although later his father also agreed. It wasn't until 2007, shortly after Qiao Renliang debuted on a program, that he went to Beijing alone and the situation gradually improved.

His home in Beijing is spotless and everything is neatly arranged. I have been there twice, and my home has many small animals, such as cats, dogs, rabbits... it looks like a zoo.

Before, I was scared when I saw cats and dogs, and I was afraid of living things. Qiao Renliang grabbed my hand and placed it on the dog. When I touched it, it was fluffy and scared, causing it to shrink back. He encouraged me to say, "It's okay, it's okay." This way, I touch it every day, and gradually, I'm not afraid anymore. I think it's quite cute. When I see you, I wag my tail, jump up, and it's very obedient.

I didn't know before that he wasn't happy after entering the entertainment industry.

He calls me and never says anything unhappy, just asking about my life. Only once, Qiao Renliang sent me and his father a message at the same time very late, saying, "Dad, I miss you." The message he sent me was, "Mom, I love you." Feeling something had happened to him, his father immediately called and when Qiao Renliang received the call, he said, "It's nothing, it's already resolved." There were only a few minutes in between.

Later, he returned to Shanghai from Beijing and stayed in a villa twenty minutes away from home. I go over every day to help him cook and do housework. His assistant, agent, and five or six people together, all the meals were cooked by me. Every time I cook and finish, Qiao Renliang will let me come back early to rest.

In the spring of 2016, I saw him injured and asked him what was going on. He told me that while filming, he fell on the glass and injured himself. During that time, I urged him to go to the hospital every day to get saline solution, fearing that the wound would become inflamed.

He is losing weight day by day, with no smile on his face. Several times, he locked himself in the room, drew the curtains, and sat alone in the dark. I thought he was memorizing lines and under a lot of pressure, trying not to disturb him, but I never thought he was suffering from depression.

He didn't tell me, no one around him told me, and I didn't realize it myself.

After the incident, his agent told me that Qiao Renliang had self harmed several times and left wounds on his body one after another. Oh my, there are so many wounds on his body, very deep, very deep. When I was cooking, I accidentally injured my hand and it hurts so much... How could my son get this disease?

Perhaps I was negligent and didn't take good care of him, I have always felt guilty.

They said that Qiao Renliang's illness kept going back and forth, sometimes better and sometimes worse. He must have been sick for a long time, unable to eat or sleep, and already very seriously ill, but he didn't tell me anything, they didn't tell us anything... After the incident, his agent told us that Qiao Renliang wouldn't let them tell us.

After my son passed away, I tossed and turned at night and couldn't sleep. My two sisters are doctors, and they give me sleeping pills. I ate and stopped, and it took me a few months to slowly adjust.

Afterwards, I tried not to think about it, otherwise I would also be depressed.

Take a video and forget about sadness

Mr. Qiao: When Qiao Renliang had an accident, I happened to be on vacation. While preparing dinner at home, the phone rang and the other end of the phone said, "Kimi has an accident, come quickly!" I didn't know what was going on at the time. I rode an electric bike over, but didn't expect that the other person was already gone

His assistant and agent all know that Qiao Renliang is suffering from depression, why didn't they tell us?

Previously, Qiao Renliang mentioned to me that he wanted me to come back and help him. I also planned to stop sailing in a while and come back to help him. Qiao's mother is a housewife and doesn't understand many things.

Saying anything now is meaningless.

He sings very well, but I didn't like listening to it before and thought it was too noisy. After my son had an accident, I often listened to his songs in the middle of the night while drinking a small drink; Sometimes when I go karaoke with friends, I also listen to his songs. After a while, I feel like I can't keep listening and need to do something else to keep myself busy.

The cosmetics store opened by his son before his death was previously managed by his two cousins. In 2019, we took over to do it ourselves, and it was almost impossible to continue at that time.

At the beginning, it was mainly done by Qiao Mama and her relative Qiao Lingling, and I was still working at that time. We later changed our name to "Gao Caiping and Mr. Qiao". Qiao's mother's name is Gao Caiping, but she mistakenly typed it as "Cai", so she simply called it "Gao Caiping". After retiring in early 2020, I also joined in. My name is Qiao Kangqiang, and I am named Mr. Qiao. Nowadays, many people call us Mr. Qiao, Gao Caiping, or Qiao's father or mother.

During the first live broadcast, a round object was placed on the restaurant with cosmetics placed next to it. I foolishly looked at the camera and livestreamed for two hours without saying a word, mostly Qiao Lingling. The phone is too small, I can't read the words on the screen clearly. Later, I switched to a larger screen.

After that, I often went to other people's live streaming rooms to learn their live streaming methods.

Making videos is not easy either. It is common to shoot a single shot several times or even more. Sometimes, when I get tired of taking photos, I get angry and run away... come back, then continue taking photos again.

Having worked as a sailor for a lifetime, I suddenly came to make a video. At that time, I didn't know if I could make it, and I didn't have any hope because it was Qiao Renliang's shop. I couldn't just give up and wanted to give it a try. Unexpectedly, in just one year, we started working on it.

Fans have increased from several hundred thousand to one or two million, and now they are over eight million.

We are very happy, but there have been people who have been "cyberbullying" us, saying, "Why are we so happy when our sons are dead?" "Using our sons to earn money from the dead." Some have accused us of "killing lives.". Later, some people said that the aunt's appearance was very scary, like a negative character in One Piece who said my mouth was crooked. We later responded to these questions together during our live broadcast——

If our son dies, are we just living a short life; Qiao's mother had a pituitary tumor that caused her face to deform; I sometimes mock myself as a crooked dad because of a medical accident; What we buy are all food, there is no problem with killing animals

Over time, gradually, some black fans began to accept us, saying, "It's not easy for you to persevere until now," and "You never expected this store to be able to do it again.".

This shop is the hard work left by Qiao Renliang. We want to continue it and extend his spiritual life a bit, which can also be considered as a memory for us.

However, we have also downplayed the content of our son now. He used to have his profile picture on the homepage, but now it's gone. We also rarely shoot videos about our son. Except for the Qingming Festival every year, we only go to shoot a short video of tomb sweeping as reminded by the platform.

Since last year, we have rarely livestreamed, mainly shooting short videos of delicious food. We are not good at live streaming, and it is easy to be warned if we say the wrong thing. For example, last time, I said, "I used to be very thin, and people called me Xiaopangu." I was inexplicably warned of a violation, and if we were warned again, Xiaohuangche would be taken away.

Qiao's parents are recording a short video.

Now, it's mainly me and Qiao Lingling filming videos together. Qiao's mother's health is not good. She has had two surgeries for otitis media, her hearing is not good, her joints are not good, and there is also a pituitary tumor. This was still suggested by fans, and she went to check it out. I said to her, "You don't have to constantly talk about your health and seek sympathy from others. We just need to do our own things well."

Sometimes, when we go out, we are recognized by people on the way. Once, when I went to get a haircut, the landlady recognized me and said she wanted to waive the bill for me. I refused and tossed around for half a day. The second time I didn't want to go there again, I felt like there was no personal privacy left.

Many people like the videos we shoot. Watching delicious food with a variety of colors, flavors, and flavors is also a way to relieve stress. I saw many people leaving messages below the video saying, "Mr. Qiao, watching your video is very healing."

I don't know what to cure, but doing these things has to some extent helped us forget our sadness.

Qiao's father produced "Konjac Cool" for this episode of the program

"We always argue and argue."

Gao Caiping: In the past, I used to be very nervous when facing the camera, and my little heart was pounding.

Once, my son participated in a program and asked me to go together. I don't want to go, my son said, "You must go.". After coming on stage, I was very nervous and didn't know what to do? The more I think, the more nervous I become, and then I feel extremely dizzy. I quickly told the staff, "I need to go down." After getting down, I crouched down, sweating profusely on my face.

In recent years, I've been shooting videos and I'm not nervous anymore. It seems like I've changed a person.

Some neighbors praised our video shooting well, and I said, "You all followed, thank you!" In the past, I occasionally went to read reviews and saw various negative reviews, which scared me not to go out. Now, I'm not going to read the comments anymore. Someone must be saying something, so let them talk and I'll do my job well.

Actually, after making the video, I feel very happy. Thank you, Mr. Qiao. He has stopped the difficult, large, and immovable dishes, so I will make some simple and exquisite home cooked dishes.

Some new fans don't know that we are Qiao Renliang's parents. I later discovered that those who called us "Uncle, Auntie" were fans of me and Mr. Qiao; The one shouting "Qiao Dad, Qiao Mom" is a fan of his son Qiao Renliang.

Sometimes, when a person is at home, they can't help but think of their son, tears streaming down their faces.

A photo of a family of three.

A while ago, singer Li Wen committed suicide due to depression, and I felt particularly uncomfortable. Such a good girl, singing with passion and moving, suddenly disappeared like this.

I used to like singing. I went to KTV with my little sisters and sang songs of Xu Xiaofeng, Cai Qin and Zhuoma. My son once said, "Mom, you sing very well and have a great sense of music." But now he has practiced less and can't sing anymore.

Our main task now is to live our lives well.

I have an artificial hip joint inside my body, which always hurts on cloudy and rainy days, just like the weather forecast. But I usually pay close attention to my body. In the air-conditioned room, I wrap tightly and rarely go out to eat. Qiao's father has many friends and always goes out to drink. Sometimes, he calls me to go together. I said, "Thank you, don't drag me out." He was unhappy and insisted on asking me to go together. I said, "What am I going there for? I can't drink any alcohol, and sitting there makes me doze off." Later, he stopped calling me.

In recent years, we have always been arguing and arguing about our children. Sometimes, he is in a bad mood and gets drunk at home alone. He gets angry and throws things around. I'll give you some explosive news. That big TV was just ruined by him.

He hasn't had a good appetite lately, so he just eats some vegetables and drinks some wine. He said it was caused by "two yang". But I think it's his irregular lifestyle, he goes to bed late, drinks some old wine before going to bed, and can't sleep without it.

I understand him, but if he is constantly immersed in sadness, he cannot live a good life.

The wedding photos of the two.

I won't think about retirement for the time being, let's consider it in twenty years. Mr. Qiao may have thought more. He is not in good health, has "three highs", and loves to drink and smoke. He previously said that when he gets old and considers going to a nursing home, why must he go to a nursing home? I just like to stay at home and be quiet.

"After waking up, I saw the sun still rising"

Mr. Qiao: Qiao Renliang was born in October 1987.

I still remember carrying my newborn son back to my home in the Old Ximen Lane, and many neighbors came over to take a look. He was only the size of a hot water bottle at that time. The neighbor aunt looked at it and sighed, "It's not easy to raise such a small person to adulthood!"

But I didn't expect that when I finally grew up, others would suddenly disappear

I later reflected on why my son got depression?

At his age, entering the entertainment industry carries a lot of pressure. I remember one time, he talked to me for a few hours and said he couldn't sleep well at night. I thought he was just tired and under a bit of pressure, so I suggested he take a long vacation for himself, one or six months, and go out for a walk. He was very anxious at that time, thinking that those who debuted with him were doing better than him. If he had another long vacation, he might have been forgotten by the public. The entertainment industry was so cruel, and I didn't know much about it at the time, nor did I know if he was suffering from depression.

But at that time, I didn't understand depression either. I always thought it was just a deliberate act of being nervous or unhappy. Later on, I realized that it was a mental illness that caused a lot of pain. He scratched himself with a knife and then committed suicide... It seems like he can only be liberated by leaving this world

After our son left, we rediscovered the meaning of life.

I come here quite often, it's my grandparents' hometown. When I was young, I would come back every summer and winter vacation to play with my friends. In my impression, the surroundings were all rivers and fields... At that time, we often swam in that river.

After shooting the video, we will share the prepared food with the villagers, which is a very happy thing.

It is meaningful for elderly people like us who have lost their only child to be able to pursue their own careers, increase their income, and contribute to society. Occasionally, we provide financial support to families in need. For ourselves, when dealing with young people like Qiao Lingling, our mentality will be much better. If I were with elderly people all day, I would definitely drink and play cards frequently.

I occasionally dream now that I'm going out to sea again, and my mom and son are waiting for me at home.

When I woke up, I realized that things had changed. In the first few years when Qiao Renliang left, life was really difficult. Now it seems like he has let go of some of his feelings, but in reality, he cannot come out of such a situation. Sometimes, sitting at home feels sad and tears come down for no reason. And the older you get, the more you miss your son.

Some relatives and friends asked us to have a test tube or adopt a child. We don't have this idea at the moment. As we get older, we don't know if we have this ability. I sometimes think that nature is running generation by generation, how many elderly people have left, and many young people have also left

Life and death are a natural law.

However, everyone fears death, right? I used to dream that the world was submerged by water, and when I watched a disaster movie, I was also a boatman, so it was easy to have such dreams. After waking up, I saw the sun still rising.

I think this is life.