Teacher: One third of the class has emotional fluctuations, like a different person! The phenomenon of "second year of junior high school" attracts attention from parents, children, and teachers

When he received a call from a boy, Shen Wei, the senior homeroom teacher of Hangzhou No.13 Middle School, was not surprised. Almost every month, boys turn to her for help, sometimes to confide, sometimes to cry. At the age of 14, he is experiencing an important level of growth - finding a balance between gradually maturing physiology and matching inner growth abilities.

Such a child is not an exception.

During the interview, the reporter found that parents were very emotional. In the second year of junior high school, children who were originally sensible and obedient suddenly changed their personalities; Faced with the demands of their parents, they either simply ignore them, or get angry and talk back. Sometimes they even confront their parents, and often this change is reflected in their grades.

"There is not much difference in the first year of junior high school, but in the second year, there is polarization. In the third year, there is a sky and earth." "In the second year, I will further charge towards the top students and fall into the scum." These widely circulated rumors have pushed the "phenomenon of the second year of junior high school" to the forefront.

Why does the phenomenon of "Grade 2" exist?

Teacher Wu Boqu, from Xingzhi Middle School in Hangzhou, is a special class teacher of Yunhe in Gongshu District and the first famous class teacher in Hangzhou. Having taught for nearly 30 years, in his eyes, the second stage of junior high school is worthy of vigilance. According to his rough statistics, one-third of the children in the class will experience some emotional fluctuations to some extent. Experienced teachers will promptly detect some signs, such as "some students having poor class performance, more nonsense, completing homework less seriously than before, conflicts arising in classmates, and conflicts with parents..."

Teacher Zuo Jiangyong from Daguan Middle School in Hangzhou has also been paying attention to the "phenomenon of second year junior high school". "Some students fall into a bad mood after failing an exam, and some students develop jealousy, not only because of their grades, but also because of their family background. At this stage, students have more thoughts and problems."

According to the teacher, starting from the second year of junior high school, there are two or three students in the class who are unable to attend school normally, with an additional three or four students. In the eyes of middle school teachers, the second stage of junior high school is the accumulation and outbreak of early problems.

In the psychological department of the hospital, the feeling is more obvious.

"In recent years, the proportion of junior high school students seeking medical treatment has doubled, sometimes accounting for one-fifth of the outpatient volume." Dr. Su Heng from the Clinical Psychology Department of Zhejiang Provincial People's Hospital told reporters, "Depression and anxiety are quite common, and some even exhibit aversion to learning. In severe cases, they may exhibit extreme behaviors such as self harm."

The so-called "second year phenomenon" is not sensationalism, and many parents and children are deeply troubled by it.

During the interview with reporters, it was found that the phenomenon of the second year of junior high school has attracted the attention of schools, hospitals and other departments, and relevant intervention measures have been launched. For example, Xingzhi Middle School has a psychological counseling station, which implements an appointment system to protect student privacy. Almost every day, students come to talk to teachers; For example, many psychological teachers and homeroom teachers in schools will actively advise parents to change their identity from a conductor to a companion, understand and respect the changes in the child's stage; When children go to the hospital for treatment, the hospital will suggest that parents receive psychological intervention simultaneously to learn and become more qualified educational companions.

What kind of behavior will children who are experiencing the phenomenon of "second year of junior high school" exhibit? If your child is at this stage or is about to enter puberty, in the following two cases narrated by senior homeroom teachers, it may play a preventive role.

The contradiction brought by a backpack

Starting from the second year of junior high school, a boy often calls for help. He says that his father doesn't even let him take a shower and keeps nagging. Why hasn't he corrected his homework? Why not hurry up with your homework? Why are the characters written so poorly? Once my child called me and cried because when my dad asked him to write a test, my mom called him to go eat. At the dinner table, Dad began to wonder why he came to eat without finishing all the papers? Dad nagged him for two days about this matter, and the father and son also got angry for two days

In fact, the boy's father is very dedicated and always actively cooperates in implementing school tasks; The child's learning is also the kind of parents who are willing to make unlimited sacrifices for their son. Under the supervision and protection of his father, when the boy entered junior high school, his grades were among the top, but by the second year of junior high school, the problem had become apparent.

Once, after school, the boy was lingering in the classroom and kept looking down to tidy up his backpack. When he asked, he found out that his father required him to bring his homework home every day for inspection. The boy didn't know what to bring back, so he decided to pack it all up. When I picked it up, the backpack filled with books weighed at least 20 pounds, and there were also books that couldn't fit in two bags. When a boy is not tall and is growing physically, the weight of his backpack should not exceed 10% of his body weight. Bringing all the books home is a heavy burden for dad. He checks his homework until midnight and sometimes forgets to put it back. I discussed with the boy's father to buy a scale and weigh the backpack every day before taking it back.

I don't know how to pack my backpack, it's just the tip of the iceberg.

My ability to take care of myself is relatively poor, and my studies and life are in a mess without any proper organization. In this state, the boy's academic advantage gradually disappears, followed by more and more conflicts with his family. When he was young, he could obey his parents in everything. In the second year of junior high school, the boy began to awaken his self-awareness and would find his parents verbose and have his own ideas. Therefore, he would call almost every month for help, which was actually to confide in them.

The boy is quite intelligent, but he has been overly protected and his mind is not very mature. And the father's anxiety was also passed on to the child, causing the boy to have a bad mentality. With his intelligence, it was not a problem to get into a high school entrance exam, but the final result was not ideal.

Afterwards, the father revealed that before the high school entrance exam, his son didn't want to stay at home and chose to go to the bookstore outside to do his homework. I didn't want to hear my dad's nagging, so in the end, I chose a regular high school that was very far from home and had to live in.

Conflict triggered by a mobile phone

During home visits for new students, I believe the vast majority of teachers, like me, have explicitly requested parents not to allow students to use mobile phones.

There was a girl in our class who was lively and outgoing. By the end of the first year of junior high school, she had improved her ranking by over a hundred. Dad was happy and rewarded a mobile phone. At that time, they never expected that the small phone would be like a Pandora's box. During the summer vacation, girls play openly and secretly after school, and they can't quit at all.

In the second year of junior high school, the family often quarrels over the girl playing with her phone, and even when it's intense, the mother and daughter even start fighting. In the second semester of the second year of junior high school, the girl simply locked herself in her room and didn't go to school for a week.

The days when I was addicted to the internet, my schedule was reversed day and night, I slept during the day, and secretly ate instant noodles when I came out in the middle of the night. The teacher visited and communicated at home for over an hour, and the girl was brought back to school on the spot. The situation improved for a while. But the father who has made money wants everything for his daughter, without considering whether it is suitable. For example, if his daughter wants to attend an international school, he will help her apply for a school in Shanghai; In order to get into a good international high school, she signed up for a training institution with a monthly tuition fee of 70000 yuan. However, memorizing vocabulary is dull and boring, and it is not easy to get into a well-known international high school in Shanghai. After being discouraged, the girl became disheartened and started playing with her phone again, completely bidding farewell to the campus.

Every day, the communication between father and daughter is like asking for money and giving money. Every time my dad only gives me 100 yuan, when I run out, my daughter sends me two words on WeChat - rice money, and my dad transfers her another 100 yuan.

Why not give more? Dad helplessly: If their daughter doesn't come to ask for money, their connection will be broken. Until now, my father always sighs, "As long as my daughter is willing to go out, she can also accept attending vocational high school."

Why does the second year of junior high school become a "psychological barrier"? How can parents solve this problem?

In the eyes of teachers and parents, the growth and learning process of children can almost be called a "three-year hurdle", such as the "third grade phenomenon" reported by Qianjiang Evening News. The second year of junior high school is not only a watershed for academic performance, but also a watershed for ability development.

What factors have led to the existence of the "second grade phenomenon"? The teacher and doctor summarized several key reasons.

Increase in learning difficulty

Vulnerability presentation

According to Wu Boqu, a teacher at Hangzhou Xingzhi Middle School, the reason why there are more problems in the second year of junior high school is that the difficulty of learning in the second year has increased.

"From the perspective of subject knowledge content, compared to the first year of junior high school, the difficulty and learning tasks of the second year of junior high school have increased, and the hidden loopholes in the past will be revealed." Teacher Wu said that some girls have weaker abstract thinking, making it difficult to overcome the difficulties in science and mathematics; Some boys, on the other hand, are not good at memorizing and do not have a good foundation, such as not being able to remember English words and falling behind.

In the second year of junior high school, the content involved in the subjects has also increased. For example, in science, knowledge of physics and chemistry increases; In morality and the rule of law, it covers historical, geographical, and other related content. "Some children can't keep up and gradually lose confidence."

Teacher Zuo Jiangyong from Daguan Middle School in Hangzhou found that many children who did well in elementary school suddenly had their grades pulled back from the second year of junior high. "Many children learn passively in primary school and rely on their parents' guidance. By middle school, parents' abilities and energy are limited, and if their children's ability to learn actively is weak, they will lose their advantage."

Academic performance is a major factor affecting parent-child relationships. The decline in grades can lead to a gap in the child's inner self, and if parents constantly complain, it adds to the stimulation.

Shen Wei, a teacher at Hangzhou No.13 Middle School, also has a deep understanding of this. "In the second year of junior high school, on the one hand, it is the enormous pressure of entering the third year of junior high school, and on the other hand, it is the increase of knowledge difficulties that children bear more. At this time, parents only raise expectations and requirements, without providing methods and actions, and the verbose words that stay on their lips will only make children more and more evasive."

Physiological and psychological development are not synchronized

There is a vivid saying that the second year of junior high school is a period of psychological weaning that children must go through.

Dr. Su Heng from the Clinical Psychology Department of Zhejiang Provincial People's Hospital introduced that during middle school, children's physical and psychological development, as well as the development of control abilities, are not synchronized with their puberty.

"The body gradually matures, but the ability to self manage and control is still relatively weak. Following instinctual desires can easily lead to loss of control." At this stage, children's self-awareness begins to awaken. "Many parents do not attach importance to, do not understand, and cannot observe and adapt to this change. They think that why the child suddenly becomes disobedient or rebellious, they still use suppression methods. The more they suppress, the more rebellious the child becomes."

How long does this special period last? Su Heng said that there is no fixed deadline. "Starting from sexual development and entering puberty, when it ends depends on the child's environment. Some may take two or three years, some may not handle it well, and may continue into high school or even university."

Teachers have a deep understanding of the changes brought about by children's growth. Teacher Wu Boqu said that some children can be very typical. Especially for some boys who are more self-centered, in the second year of junior high school, they may feel that the teacher's words are not right during class, and they may not listen to what the teacher and parents are saying, resulting in a strong rebellious mentality Some introverted girls, on the other hand, are less fond of exercise and have a higher proportion of depression.

Searching for Confidence in the Virtual World

The second year of junior high school is the watershed of learning ability. For students who lack learning ability and have no special skills, they also want to find a way to prove their abilities, such as social and virtual worlds, to seek self-efficacy. In daily consultations, Su Heng found that some of the children who came for treatment had become addicted to mobile phones. "The reasons are multifaceted, some lack love, some seek the excitement of playing games, and some struggle with learning and want to regain confidence through playing games."

As a homeroom teacher, Teacher Shen Wei has always emphasized to parents not to use mobile phones for their children as much as possible. "Children in their second year of junior high school are more proficient in using mobile phones than they were when they were young. They can make friends, play games, read novels, and pursue celebrities through their phones... The internet is a mix of good and bad, and they lack the ability to distinguish and control themselves."

And children at this stage are also easily influenced by friends and the outside world. Wu Boqu said that if a friend who happens to be in a relationship has weaker learning ability and weaker confidence, the child will be accidentally affected. "If you make friends online, the harm will be even greater." Teacher Zuo Jiangyong observed that children who are addicted to mobile games often find it difficult to quit. "Parents can't control it at all. Two thirds of those children who can't come to school normally are addicted to playing with their phones, day and night upside down."

Lack of guidance in family education

Many senior homeroom teachers have found that children who are particularly rebellious in their second year of junior high school often have problems with their family education.

"I once met a girl who had self harm behavior before. She didn't really want to commit suicide, but felt that it was very stimulating." Teacher Wu Boqu said, "The girl is quite lively and outgoing, and she loves to show off. She has a high self-evaluation, but her actual ability is average." In the second year of junior high school, there is a lot of academic pressure, and she can only pass the weak science exam, so she can't cross this hurdle.

And the parents of the girls did not notice the changes in their children. They are all migrant workers in Hangzhou, and her mother has very high expectations of her, while her father has almost no expectations. "If parents don't have a unified educational standard, children will be very good at judging their faces and gradually deviate."

Wu Boqu understands that parents, especially migrant workers, face a lot of pressure in urban life and have relatively little time to discipline their children. They are also not very good at communicating with their children. Parents believe that all their hard work is for their children; Children feel distressed that they are not understood by their parents. Adults have strong self-regulation abilities, and children are more prone to getting caught in the dark.

Deep Level: Faced with the "Second Grade Phenomenon"

Parents need to learn to become military instructors

On one hand, there are children who awaken themselves, and on the other hand, there are parents who feel uneasy. The past of maternal kindness and filial piety has turned into "loving and killing each other". What can we do when facing children in special periods? Teachers also have some personal insights in their teaching.

"Parents should have a calm mindset, and all roads lead to Rome. Each child is a flower, but the flowering period is different." Teacher Shen Wei said, "There are actually many choices for children, and what suits them is the best. Parents should not limit their children, let alone convey anxiety."

Many teachers also mentioned that parents often only look at their children's grades. "I met a boy who had good grades and was sure to pass the high school entrance exam. However, when filling out his application for the middle school entrance exam, he chose vocational high school because he had strong hands-on ability." Teacher Wu Boqu has been tracking the boy's development, "He studied pastry and demonstrated his strengths, and now he is very outstanding." He also encountered his desire to learn art but his parents opposed it, which led to his child's aversion to learning. "Later, he let his child learn art again, and finally got into university. Now he has become an elementary school teacher."

Teachers all emphasize that the evaluation of children should be diverse, not solely based on academic performance as the sole goal. Interests, hobbies, strengths, etc. should be comprehensively considered.

If parents don't know how to respond, they must communicate and exchange ideas with their teachers.

Many problems that headache parents may seem minor in the eyes of teachers, but effective solutions can also be provided. The saying goes that there is specialization in one's profession. The most important thing is that when parents discover problems, they should provide timely feedback, such as playing with their phones or becoming addicted to novels. If they actively intervene from the beginning, the effect is much better than dragging it on until later.

When children have problems, they should not shy away from seeking medical attention.

"If you are a junior high school student, we mainly focus on psychological intervention and suggest that caregivers also participate in treatment." Su Heng said, "If the child has problems, caregivers should also change the way they communicate in education." When interacting with the child, we should respect the child's autonomy. The ultimate goal of education is to make the child become an eagle with the ability to soar independently, rather than raising canaries or pets. "

"In middle school, it is time for children to develop an independent consciousness. Parents should respect the sprouts of their consciousness, transform from a commander to a companion and advisor, from a commander to a advisor, and learn to be a military strategist, not a protagonist." Su Heng said, "Sometimes, parents should be tough and not afraid of their children suffering and falling into the pit. Some storms and hardships require children to experience on their own, so that they can have the ability to withstand pressure and grow strong."

My grades have declined and I love dressing up,

Reading novels secretly in the middle of the night

Parents of second year students should learn to respect and guide

1

Children's minor emotions

Q:

I have many hobbies and interests, such as handicrafts and reading... but I am about to start my second year of junior high school and my studies are getting more and more intense. Can I still maintain these hobbies?

A:

It is undeniable that the second year of junior high school is a very critical stage, and the difficulty of each subject will increase. However, as long as the methods are appropriate, the relationship between interests and learning can be balanced, and a full sense of achievement and happiness can be gained.

Firstly, you can communicate sincerely with your parents, establish a sense of rules, and convey the primary and secondary concepts of "learning first, interests and hobbies secondary", gaining their respect and support.

Secondly, you need to improve efficiency and arrange your time scientifically. Only when learning efficiency improves can there be time to balance interests. You can analyze the current learning tasks with your parents, jointly set learning goals, and create a time plan for the next stage.

Finally, when studying, it is important to invest seriously and concentrate on learning. Once the weekly plan is completed, you can allocate some time on weekends to develop your interests and hobbies.

Q:

Every time I communicate with my parents, they just repeat and nag me, giving me a lot to study hard. I understand the reason, but it's not that I don't want to study hard, and sometimes I feel powerless.

A:

Although parents talk a bit too much, some of their words are based on life experience and care for you, hoping to help you make the right decision and avoid taking some detours. We need to learn to listen, respect parents, and understand each other. If what they say is one-sided or incorrect, we can try to sit down and communicate calmly.

We cannot always think about the outcome, we should enjoy the process of trying to achieve the current small goal. In addition to studying, one can do some relaxing exercises; When encountering difficulties that one does not know during the learning process, one can choose to temporarily give up; Be mentally prepared for a prolonged war and not be too impatient; Reasonably arrange a study plan to ensure sufficient sleep.

Q:

I have an introverted personality and only have one good classmate, but her academic performance is average. Mom said she's about to start her second year of junior high school and doesn't want me to play with her because she's afraid it might affect me. What should I do?

A:

Firstly, let the mother understand the importance of making friends. People have social attributes, which determine their need to interact with groups and acquire corresponding social qualities. If one blindly focuses on academic performance and neglects the cultivation of a complete personality, it will not only lead to a decline in the ability to cope with social risks, but also cause behavioral deviations and psychological problems, and disrupt the harmony of parent-child relationships.

Secondly, talk to your mother about the strengths of friends. To become your good friend, there must be shining points in her that you appreciate. She is more outgoing, while you happen to be more introverted, with strong complementary personalities.

Finally, sign a "friendship agreement" with your mother to ensure that it does not affect your grades. In order to abide by the "convention", you need to work harder to study more quickly. Mom has witnessed your progress and will strongly support you in playing with her.

Q:

I did well in my first year of junior high school, but I noticeably fell behind in the final exam of my second year. I was very frustrated and couldn't improve. It is said that the second year of junior high school may be a turning point in academic performance, but did I really have a turning point?

A:

A small test is just testing whether you have the courage and perseverance to take on important responsibilities.

Firstly, identify the reasons for the regression. How is the learning status? Have you played with electronic products? Have there been significant changes in lifestyle habits? Is there a problem with the learning method?

Secondly, analyze the test paper, carefully search for the reasons for losing points, and fundamentally prevent the recurrence of wrong questions. You can concentrate the wrong questions on the wrong question book and repeat it three times.

Finally, with the help of surrounding resources, seek help from teachers and classmates, and ask more questions if you don't understand.

The experience of failure is more precious than the joy of success. As long as one adjusts their mindset, actively faces difficulties, is good at choosing learning methods, and maintains a good learning state, they can continuously improve and achieve good results.

2

Parents' Little Worries

Q:

As soon as we asked our daughter to study hard, she locked herself in the room. And recently, I noticed that she often sneaks up in the middle of the night to read novels and is about to start her third year of junior high school. She's really anxious.

A:

Firstly, calmly talk and communicate with your daughter to understand the real reasons for reading novels in the middle of the night. If it's because you can't sleep, it's necessary to go to the hospital for treatment; If it is due to high academic pressure, it should be alleviated through appropriate methods, such as heart to heart talks, running, etc.

Secondly, understand the content of the novel. It cannot be arbitrarily assumed that children reading novels in the middle of the night is a sign of disinterest in learning.

Once again, arrange your reading time reasonably. Parents should guide their daughters to realize that it is not appropriate to read novels at midnight.

Finally, empower your daughter. Don't just start by saying "study hard". You can talk about topics of interest to relieve your daughter's academic pressure.

Q:

I have been responsible for my son's learning and life since he was young. This summer of the second year of junior high school, I originally wanted to take him on a trip, but he said he had arranged to go with his classmates. I am very worried. Should I let him go on the trip alone?

A:

Whether or not to let children and classmates travel together depends on multiple factors, including destination, travel plan, children's maturity, and regulatory situation. The best way is to scientifically participate in a child's travel plan to help them grow better.

Mothers can express their agreement with their child's decision, but there are a few small requests they hope the child can make:

A detailed travel plan is required, and mothers can refer to it together to propose improvement measures for security vulnerabilities; Every time I go to a new place, I need to take a few photos to let my mother pay attention to the environment; Wear a phone watch, keep the phone open 24 hours a day, and make an agreement with the child that if there is no answer or call back within a certain period of time, the mother will call her peers to ensure safety; Mothers will contact their peers and parents when necessary, exchange information, and expand their sources of information.

Q:

I gave my daughter a phone during the summer vacation, and I found that she had a hot conversation with a male classmate, and she also became fond of dressing up. Although the two of them did not have any inappropriate words or behavior, we are very worried that her early love will affect her studies in the third year of junior high. How should we communicate with our daughter?

A:

Firstly, we need to affirm our daughter. The awakening of sexual awareness and self-awareness are the two significant characteristics of entering puberty, and it is reasonable for a daughter and a male classmate to chat on their mobile phones. As parents, we should affirm and take care of our daughter, and congratulate her on starting to grow up; The absence of any inappropriate words or actions by the two indicates that the daughter has learned to face her inner self and express her true emotions with moderation.

Secondly, please accept your daughter. The fact that a daughter loves to dress up is a sign of her confidence during adolescence, and also indicates that she expects others to pay attention, recognize, and praise her. Confidence is very important for future growth.

Finally, guide your daughter. Frankly tell her that the third year of junior high is a critical period. If you really have a good impression of this male classmate, you can make an appointment with him to study hard together. Let my daughter understand that only at the right time and in the right way can we play a melody worthy of recognition with the heartstrings of youth.

Q:

My son was brought up by my grandparents when he was young. My grandparents returned to my hometown in the summer vacation of the second day of junior high school. My son was alone with us and had a lot of friction. No matter what we said, he would talk back.

A:

As parents, we need to reflect on whether we are too nagging and have only one purpose of reasoning, hoping that our children will become better.

When facing a child's disobedience, it is important to maintain a calm emotional state, patiently listen to the child's voice, and respect their true wishes. If your child is right, don't deny them for the sake of their parents' face; If what is said is wrong, we should guide children to use their brains and discover the problem on their own.

Educate children not to be too nagging and not to vent their dissatisfaction on them. You can point out mistakes based on facts, remember not to dig up old accounts, and not compare with others.

Parents should also have principles, establish rules with their children in advance, have clear rewards and punishments, and guide them to abide by the rules.

Children have not been with their parents for a long time, and their behavior habits have not been developed, so parents must patiently help them correct them.