China Youth Daily: Is the single life posted online quite good? Don't be deceived by traffic passwords for marriage | young people | passwords
"Why don't young people get married?" "Young people no longer yearn for love." "They don't want to settle for a partner." Topics related to youth marriage always make it to the hot search list. The attitudes of young people towards marriage and love have undergone significant changes compared to their parents. How should they approach the issue of marriage and love rationally?
What are the reasons for delaying the age of first marriage
In recent years, the average age of first marriage in China has shown a trend of being pushed back. According to the China Census Yearbook-2020, the average age of first marriage in China in 2020 was 28.67 years old, nearly 4 years later than the 24.89 years old in 2010.
Associate Professor Xu Qi from the School of Sociology at Nanjing University analyzed that improving education level is an important factor in delaying the age of first marriage. At present, the gross enrollment rate of higher education in China has approached 60%, and young people's education time has been extended, resulting in a corresponding delay in their time entering marriage. At the same time, he pointed out that education can also indirectly affect attitudes towards marriage and love, "especially the impact of education on women's attitudes towards marriage and love is more pronounced than that of men. For example, women with higher education tend to find people with the same or higher education level as themselves."
Xu Qi believes that irrational mate selection demands have also increased the difficulty of young people's marriage and love. "Not being able to choose a spouse based on one's own conditions and assuming that the other person has economic strength, social status, etc., excessive demands will greatly limit the scope of mate selection."
In addition, he analyzed that young people nowadays are often able to afford their own lives and feel that being alone is good. They hold a "slow waiting" attitude towards their significant other, which also leads to a later age of marriage.
A survey conducted by the Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily in collaboration with the questionnaire website on 2004 single young people surveyed showed that fixed social circles are the biggest love dilemma faced by young people. Xu Qi also deeply agrees with this. "Many young people crave to meet their significant other, but in reality, there are some obstacles, one of which is the prominent gender segregation in professions or professions. This phenomenon is more pronounced in professions such as IT and nursing, where people in both life, work, and study circles are of the same gender."
Breaking the traditional social circle, Xu Qi believes that third-party organizations play an important role. He believes that the Communist Youth League organization has great potential in serving young people's marriage and dating. "Activities can be organized in the hearts of young people by combining popular social forms and content, such as organizing camping and other activities that young people enjoy, bringing everyone together and providing more opportunities for mutual contact."
If you don't want to experience the pain of love, you won't be able to experience its happiness and joy
"Many young people nowadays say 'I don't need to be in love' or 'I don't need to get married', which in my opinion would be a regret in life, lacking the experience of love and being loved. 'Ling Zi, a specially appointed marriage expert from the Hangzhou Federation of Trade Unions and a member of the Zhejiang Psychological Health Promotion Association, pointed out that a person's life is a continuous process of interacting with various people, and the intimate relationship with their loved ones is one of the most important.". "Some people may not want to experience the pain of love and think that a person is good. But I want to say that emotions have ups and downs, and if you don't want to experience the pain of love, you won't be able to experience its happiness and joy."
She pointed out that some young people nowadays have a negative thinking pattern in terms of emotions, unable to see the positive side of others, and even completely negate a person because of one thing. "Using a magnifying glass to see a person's shortcomings, without praise, encouragement, or identification, only criticism, how can one still fall in love? Young people should realize that no one is perfect, and when dating, they should learn to be tolerant, not only able to see the other person's strengths but also their weaknesses."
Ling Zi suggests that young people should pay attention to improving their love and emotional intelligence. They can change their thinking patterns and abandon perfectionism by reading books on gender relations and psychology. "It's really difficult not to have the idea of finding a 'perfect' person, nor to demand that the other person must meet all of one's own requirements or imagination."
Is the single life posted online quite good? Don't be deceived by traffic passwords
Ling Zi reminds young people not to listen one-sided to information that "even one person is good". "Nowadays, there are many videos and articles on social media platforms and websites advocating for 'long live single', depicting a person's life as easy, comfortable, and worry free. However, such content often only presents one aspect of life, which is very thin or one-sided."
According to Xu Qi's analysis, according to China's census data, there are very few people who are lifelong single, and this part of the very small people can not represent the whole society at all. "But now the voice of single people is put very big on the Internet, which will give people the illusion that 'everyone is like this'." Xu Qi reminds young people to treat the voice of the "small crowd" on the Internet rationally. "The vast majority of people on the internet are silent divers, and those who are often active in speaking are usually the small group of people."
At the same time, he mentioned that some content in the Internet is packaged based on traffic demand. What catches the eye is what the creators produce, not necessarily their own real ideas. "On the Internet, the positive content about marriage and love is often not paid much attention, and it is even easy to be roast about 'throwing dog food', while the discussion of some negative and negative content is very hot, which makes some 'traffic is king' marketing accounts specially spread negative news about emotion."
Xu Qi believes that the public opinion atmosphere has a significant impact on young people's views on marriage and love. "The media should play a leading role in exploring and promoting the true and credible stories of ordinary people who live a positive life. Relevant departments should also increase punishment for spreading false content and regulate online social behavior."
