Behind becoming a "full-time child", young people from the "80s" to the "00s" | full-time | children

Recently, "full-time children" has become a new word on the Internet. "Full time children" refer to "young people who live with their parents out of work and exchange certain labor for economic support, while maintaining their studies, trying to find career goals, take the civil service exam, and graduate school entrance exam." On Douban, the "Full time Children's Work Exchange Center" group has gathered 4160 "working people".

According to interviews with reporters, in addition to young people born in the 1990s and 2000s who are working as full-time children while looking for jobs, there are also those born in the 1970s and 1980s who choose to leave work to take care of their parents due to illness or new thoughts on life. Some young people have found interesting part-time jobs during their "full-time children" period, earning over 10000 yuan per month. In the interview, we not only felt the child's love and filial piety towards their parents, but also saw the new generation of parents' tolerance and understanding towards their children. Full time children supported by Chinese families are not afraid to press the "pause" button.

They choose to become full-time children

Post-80s: Rethinking the Meaning of Life

From "Desperate Saburo" to Accompanying Parents

"Full time children" means "gnawing on the old tribe" and changing to a "new vest"? Bin Bin, born in the 1980s, doesn't see it that way. In the past two or three years, I have particularly felt the impermanence of life, rethought about life, and put it into action. In February of this year, Bin Bin resigned from his white-collar job and left the first tier cities where he had lived for more than a decade. He returned to his hometown with his children and started a new life.

"My parents are already 70 years old, and if I had followed my original life plan, I might have chosen to spend more time with them after retirement. However, there are too many unpredictable changes in life, and there are still more than a decade before I can retire. At that time, my parents in their 80s could still take me on a trip as freely as I wanted." After calculation, the total retirement pension of Bin Bin's parents is less than 10000 yuan, and Bin Bin himself has some savings. With small expenses, it happens to be a time when he can become a "full-time child".

Therefore, Binbin moved his and his children's household registration back to go home. After settling in for kindergarten, he accompanied his mother to do morning exercises, buy vegetables in the market, or sit and chat with his parents and relatives every day.

Journalists have found that for many people born in the 1970s and 1980s, becoming a full-time child has gradually become a practical choice for children to care for their parents. Doing household chores, chatting with parents, running errands to pick up packages, and helping them solve electronic device problems at any time have become their new way of life. Chen Lin is born in the 1970s. Due to his father's cerebral infarction and hemiplegia last year, Chen Lin resigned from his job and took care of his father part-time from home. "If it's a full-time job, there are actually commuting times, but when it comes to treating my parents, there is no specific commuting time. When they go to bed, my 'work' is considered over. My mother's waist is not very comfortable, and some of the heavy physical household chores at home are definitely my responsibility. My father's daily flipping, feeding, and guarding for medical treatment are also my responsibilities that I cannot shirk."

And Bin Bin's main job is to remind his parents to take their medicine on time and help them plan some short trips. When it comes to her "work", she feels a great sense of achievement: "My parents' friends also envy them for having children with them. Some of their children are busy with work, while others prioritize their families and rarely see each other. In the past, my parents' friends envied whose children got married, but now they envy whose families have full-time children, thinking that having children with them is great."

As a full-time child of the "Four Elders", Binbin's daily life is very busy because his parents in law also need to care for and take care of him. Fortunately, currently, Bin Bin's husband supports her choice and is also looking for suitable job opportunities in his and Bin Bin's hometowns. "We are all single child families, and now the elderly on both sides are getting older. They have to leave home when working in another city, and it's not good for the elderly to have no one around them. Someone needs to take more time to care for them. So, in fact, resigning to take care of the elderly at home is both an economic and practical choice, and we have to admit that living this kind of life, we don't have so much work pressure ourselves! Children can sincerely accompany and contribute, parents can enjoy the joy of family, and being a 'full-time child' is a happy two-way journey!" Bin Bin said.

Post-90s generation: "Full time children" are not lying flat

Accompanying parents while searching for jobs

At the end of July 2022, Xin Xin, born in 1998, graduated from studying in Australia and returned to China to start looking for a job. "The competition for job hunting is fierce nowadays, and I am studying design. I finally received several offers from small companies, all of which said I needed to work overtime at night. After discussing with my parents, I felt it was too harmful to my health, so I didn't go. Now, I have been working as a 'full-time daughter' at home for almost a year." Xinxin told reporters that there are also several classmates around me who have similar situations to her. "Our generation has never suffered much since we were young. My parents don't care much about me in all aspects. They think their generation has worked hard and strived, so they hope I can relax a bit."

Xin Xin's statement is not exaggerated. The reporter found in an interview that for many post-90s people who are in a state of unemployment, the family's financial pressure is not significant. During the period of "full-time children," parents and family members give "wages" as little as one or two thousand yuan, and as many as 8000 yuan. Xinxin uses her mother's credit card for daily expenses, and her father also distributes her salary of 3000 yuan per month. "Usually, my parents go to work, and I stay at home alone to read about job hunting, novels, or TV shows. In the evening, I prepare my meals in advance and wait for them to come back to eat," Xin Xin said.

Xiaojia, who was born in 1995, has been a full-time child for two years. "My parents have retired and they give me 8000 yuan per month. I accompany them to go shopping, buy groceries, see doctors, and often cook for them. The whole family is quite fulfilling and happy, and there is not much pressure. They hope that I can go to college, whether as a teacher or as a manager, as long as I am not too busy, and the salary doesn't matter," Xiaojia said. However, Xinxin and Xiaojia are not content with the seemingly easy life of being full-time children. "Not long after graduation, I still hope to end my status as a 'full-time child' and try the water in society as soon as possible. After all, people still need a sense of self-worth! I hope to receive more offers this year and hand over the choice to myself." Xiaojia said.

Post-00s: Charging in the Harbor of Home

"Pause" is for better departure

For newcomers born in the 2000s who are not afraid of tigers, the belief in "going to work" is also fading. Perhaps the post-90s generation is prone to worry about being thrown out of the race if they stop, while the post-00s generation is the first wave of young people in China to step onto the employment slowdown. Faced with uncertainty, they either actively or passively choose to press the "pause" button for their lives.

Yingying, 23, graduated last year and worked as a media worker in Foshan for a period of time. After that, she went to an Internet company in a first tier city. However, the life of working overtime often left her breathless. "Every time I feel frustrated and in extremely poor condition, my parents become my last refuge. They offer to let me go home and give me money every month. That's how my full-time daughter's life started."

Yingying said that her parents were worried that they would feel bored and anxious if they didn't have any economic income after returning home, so they suggested that she could cook and do household chores at home, and her parents would give her 4000 yuan per month. At present, Yingying has been a full-time daughter for half a year. In addition to doing things she likes every day at home, such as reading, writing, painting, sometimes she also helps her parents take care of her elderly grandparents. "My grandparents were so happy to see me and kept telling me not to worry about not being able to find a job or staying at home."

Yingying feels that although she has temporarily suspended her work, she is much more confident than before. "I have been studying in another city before and haven't spent much time at home. This year is the happiest, most beautiful, and happiest year for me in the past decade. I can think carefully about what I am suitable for."

While taking care of her family's daily life, Yingying is also actively preparing to take the civil service exam and even enrolled in a barista training class. "I believe that full-time children are a product of social progress, and more and more young people who want to stop and think about the future will choose this method of suspension. Of course, suspension is for better punishment, and I will also work hard. After all, I am only 23 years old, and I also want to think about what I want to do, so that I can have the courage to do it. I am confident that I will live a happy life," said Yingying.

"Digital nomads"+"full-time children"

Create a buffer space for oneself

In 2021, Xiaoxiong graduated from a sociology undergraduate program at a 211 university. "At that time, a graduate student who wanted to cross majors to take the finance exam failed, and an unpopular major encountered a cold market winter, leading to repeated setbacks in finding a job." In order to retain his status as a fresh graduate, Xiaoxiong, with the support of his parents, stayed at home to prepare for civil service and career positions, becoming a "full-time child".

This year, Little Bear is 25 years old. The frustration of not being able to land a job in the past two years, coupled with the anxiety of her upcoming graduation, has gradually led her into self doubt. In order to get rid of internal conflicts, she started doing side jobs in her spare time. On a part-time app, she found various types of flexible work, including part-time models, game companions, learning vlog bloggers, and door-to-door feeding cats. Recently, I also tried to take orders and do live streaming, and have already gained more than 50000 fans! Now, Xiaoxiong's monthly income from side jobs is about 3000-5000 yuan, sometimes even up to 10000 yuan, ensuring her basic life. She also saved up a small treasury and took her parents on a trip to Xinjiang.

"Taking hobbies as a side job enriches and brings joy to life, while also creating a buffer space to accommodate anxiety and tension." Little Bear feels that he has found a new rhythm, which can focus on preparing for exams while also being financially independent. The anxiety and confusion of being a "full-time child" have been cured by the side job.

Expert opinions

Full time children need to establish social networks

How to view the phenomenon of "full-time children"? Professor Lv Xinyu from the School of Communication at East China Normal University believes that "the emergence of this phenomenon has its social reasons and rationality. China has a history of children living with their parents since ancient times. Parents accompany us to grow up, and we accompany them to grow old. Such companionship itself is of great significance. 'Full time children' are a phenomenon where the material standard of living has reached a certain stage, and this lifestyle is based on the premise of parents working together and high retirement benefits. Children also have a good mentality of self harmony in this situation."

Lv Xinyu believes that "full-time children" can sometimes be a short-term choice or a carefully considered decision. For those born in the 1990s and 2000s, they can temporarily return to their "safe haven" when facing difficulties in work and life; For those born in the 1970s and 1980s, they feel family affection while accompanying their parents, and also find themselves, reflect on life, and seek the meaning of life in this process.

However, she also pointed out some issues that need to be noted: first, there may be "implicit soft violence" between parents and children: whether parents give money to their children and have control over their children, and whether there is implicit emotional control; Secondly, if they are in intergenerational relationships with small families for a long time, it is easy for young people to lose horizontal connections with society, and to some extent, lose social communication abilities, channels, and resources. Therefore, parents should help "full-time children" establish social networks, so that they can see and interact with each other; Full time children should also pay attention to their ability to return to society.

Seeing the care difficulties behind the scenes

Associate Professor Tu Jiong from the School of Sociology and Anthropology at Sun Yat sen University believes that "in the process of young people's growth or career development, if the family can become a temporary harbor for them to stay and provide support when they encounter difficulties, it is actually a good thing for the physical and mental health of young people. However, not all families can provide such a harbor for their children. It requires both parents to have good economic conditions, support and tolerance for young people, allowing them to choose their preferred way of life, which is also a more supportive manifestation of Chinese family relationships. Many young people may not yet be able to obtain such family support, and they must shoulder difficulties."

At the same time, Tu Jiong believes that we should see the social problems reflected behind the phenomenon of "full-time children": firstly, the care of the elderly in an aging society. "For the only child born in the 1970s and 1980s who have the 'Four Elders', is the care for the elderly allowing middle-aged children to return to their families or to be handed over to professional institutions? This may be a prominent problem that our society will face in the coming decades. We hope to have more sound community care to liberate young adults and enable them to achieve their career dreams."

"Secondly, for the younger generation born in the 1990s and 2000s, they face more difficulties in finding an ideal job, rather than the kind of profession that involves both their physical and mental well-being. Therefore, it is necessary to create more open and diverse job opportunities, so that more young people can play their value in society." She believes that in the context of China's aging society, "labor shortage" is also a problem that we will soon face. If many people withdraw from the workplace and return to their families, whether it is good or bad for the operation of the entire society is also debatable. "I hope more young people of appropriate age can devote themselves to the workplace to realize their personal value and make better contributions to society."