What words cannot be said| Nine questions and nine answers, what can I say? I have no way to take the college entrance examination these days this week | Child | College Entrance Examination
The annual college entrance examination is coming again from June 7th to 9th, which is this Wednesday to Friday. Who is more anxious, you or your child? For candidates, the stressors that cause anxiety are highlighted by the nagging of parents and teachers; For parents, especially those in social circles who compare and even praise each other, it can bring immense pressure and anxiety to ordinary things.
In this exam month, with the college entrance examination approaching and the middle school entrance examination approaching, more than 221000 people watched the online classroom live broadcast of Shanghai Parent School. Cai Danyi, Deputy Director of the School Department and Psychological Professional Teacher of Pudong Foreign Language School affiliated with Shanghai Foreign Studies University, gave nine questions and nine answers to deal with pre exam anxiety, helping parents to do a good job of "divine assistance".
Perhaps you can easily identify the anxiety of candidates, but in fact, there are also traces of parental anxiety: restlessness, emotional fluctuations, irritability, poor appetite, insomnia, difficulty concentrating... For example, many parents frequently use their phones to watch short videos, which is also a manifestation of lack of concentration. On the other hand, parents may also have wild thoughts, such as worrying about their child failing the exam and having no way out in the future, worrying about their emotions affecting their child's high school entrance exam, worrying about themselves collapsing before their child, and so on.
Cai Danyi believes that moderate stress situations can cause the body to secrete a large amount of cortisol to awaken an individual's alertness and prepare them physiologically for the upcoming challenges. However, excessive anxiety is not only detrimental to the performance of exams, but may also affect the healthy development of both body and mind, and should be handled properly. From a child's perspective, during the critical period of exams, children need moderate living care, a quiet and focused space, and emotional peace between each other. Parents can obtain effective information by communicating with their children, "Give your child the help they truly want, not the help you think they need."
Similarly, "In the past few days, what can be said and what cannot be said?" A reporter from Shangguan News of Liberation Daily learned that in online live streaming, the nine major quick questions and quick answers, as well as brochures, help prepare for the exam——
Q: What if a child fails the exam?
Answer: I have seen your efforts and know that you are very anxious. As long as you do your best. We can look up the information together, discuss what score range we got and how we can deal with it. Life has infinite possibilities, and I will always be with you, facing problems together, solving problems, and walking step by step.
Q: What should I do if I get sick during the exam?
Answer: Generally speaking, as long as it is not a situation where you are too sick to sit down or write with a pen, the impact of illness on the exam is mainly psychological. The belief that you can complete the exam is very important.
Q: What should I do if there is an unexpected situation in the exam room?
Answer: We can inform the child in advance of possible unexpected situations, such as nervousness, shaking hands, blank brain, problems with the exam paper, and problems with the exam facilities. If you are nervous, do a few relaxing movements, such as taking deep breaths or pressing your temples. If it's a problem with the exam room or paper, don't worry, immediately raise your hand to seek the help of the invigilator. They have all received training and will handle these situations very well.
Q: How to prepare for food, clothing, housing, and transportation?
Answer: Temporary emergency nutrition supplementation does not have an effect. A familiar environment, clean, hygienic, and delicious food, comfortable clothing habits, and sufficient sleep can all bring a relaxed feeling.
Q: How do I relax during the exam days at noon?
Answer: You can take a nap for a while, not for a long time. It's not good to enter deep sleep after half an hour. If you can't sleep, you can lie down and rest for a while. It's okay if you can't sleep, or do some relaxation activities such as meditation.
Q: What should I do if I have insomnia during the exam?
Answer: Parents cannot be in a hurry. You can try saying that you are still young, it's okay if you haven't slept well for a day or two, your brain is completely working normally, and I used to do the same. Children are not nervous about insomnia, but instead tend to fall asleep easily.
Q: What if the child really fails the exam?
Answer: Listen, understand, not easily interrupt, and encourage continued effort. Don't worry too much about children giving up on themselves. Human needs include survival and safety, belonging and love, respect, and value realization. Satisfying the previous needs well, the child's emotions are accepted, and naturally there is an effort to achieve self-worth.
Q: In the past few days, what can be said and what cannot be said?
Answer: Compared to the motivation of "you will definitely achieve good grades" or the comfort of "grades are not important", what children need more is to be confident that "no matter how well they do on the exam, their parents' love for me will not change and they will have confidence in my life.".
Red light: "If you don't do well, it's over." "Keep going, you can definitely do well!" "The exam is your own business, I don't care how well you do."
Yellow light: "How are you doing with your review?"
Green light: "We hope you do well in the exam, but no matter what the result is, we have done our best and we all love you."
Q: What is the most important thing these days?
Answer: Learning habits and methods are things that require long-term effort, and it is not meaningful to supervise them during this time. We can adjust our mentality and create a positive and favorable environment for our children. Especially able to be more understanding and not criticize. Understand and tolerate negative emotions in children.
To overcome anxiety, why not try the "Butterfly Embrace Method"
The butterfly hug method is a method that can quickly replenish inner energy, and has a positive effect on reducing stress, anxiety, and tension, and even on alleviating people's psychological trauma.
The method is very simple: first take a deep breath, then cross your arms and place them in front of your chest, with your eyes closed or partially closed, imitating the wings of a butterfly. Next, take turns patting your arms lightly with both hands, one round on the left and one on the right, in groups of 4-12 rounds, usually lasting about 5 minutes. When embracing oneself, only focus on one's own feelings at that time, calm down, don't think about the past, and don't fear the future. Comforting oneself through this action, restoring the body and mind to a stable state.
