Facing the "bear child": This summer, high-speed train attendants are in a dilemma between "over reminding" and "sitting and ignoring". Car | Parents | High speed train attendants

During the summer vacation, high-speed train attendant Xiao Xiao's job on each train includes not only routine information verification and reminding passengers to keep their luggage safe, but also a new task - reminding parents who take care of their children.

Xiao Xiao and his colleagues have both experienced being complained about for not effectively preventing children from making noise in the carriage. On one end were parents with children, and on the other end were passengers who wanted to rest. Xiao Xiao felt trapped in the middle. She complained on social media, "I'm really going crazy if I don't remind passengers around me to complain about inaction, and if I remind parents who have children to complain about discrimination."

"Children have once again become an undeniable group of passengers on high-speed trains," Lu You, the high-speed train conductor of Shanghai Passenger Transport, suddenly realized this summer. "This year is the first summer vacation after the epidemic, and a large number of family tourists choose to travel by railway. According to the situation of our passenger transport section, the proportion of children taking trains is estimated to account for 30% of the total number of passengers, while in the previous two years it was only about 10%." Zhou Dingjun, deputy captain of the high-speed rail third team of the Shanghai Passenger Transport Section of the Railway Shanghai Bureau, described.

At the same time, the issue of "high-speed rail bear children disturbing the carriage with noise" is also becoming a constantly fermenting topic. This summer, there are many high-speed rail crew members like Lv You and Xiao Xiao who are constantly distracted by children's shouts and playfulness. Complaints involve the professional cultivation and honor of flight attendants, as well as the public rights and interests of parents and other passengers. The flight attendants were caught in a dilemma in the middle.

We interviewed four practitioners, including high-speed rail dispatch and management personnel, train conductors, and ordinary train attendants, to listen to their true emotional journey. Perhaps this also provides us with another perspective on the problem.

The crew members of Shanghai Passenger Transport Depot are comforting the injured children on board. Respondents provide pictures

"Sometimes we unconsciously fall into a dilemma."

Narrator: After 90 s, a high-speed rail crew member of a certain railway section in rustling Fujian

In the past few months, I have often received complaints about my child's noise, and sometimes I really can't handle it. Because we train attendants serve multiple carriages simultaneously. Some passengers did not find us in a timely manner and intervened to stop the children who were making a loud noise. At this point, both sides were already somewhat unhappy. As a mediator, flight attendants are inevitably angered.

I remember a parent who took two or three children into the car and fell asleep after getting in. Three children had a dispute while playing on their iPads nearby. The children were arguing loudly and were reminded by the passengers around them. But the children were so active that they forgot the reminder after 10 minutes, and a second round of arguments erupted. At this moment, the passenger remembered to scan the QR code on the armrest of the seat to complain, and we received the message and rushed to the scene. In fact, the scene was already somewhat passive at this point.

For train attendants, every complaint will be recorded because it means that we did not maintain order in the carriage in a timely manner, leading to passenger dissatisfaction. Receiving a complaint does not mean discouraging uncivilized riding behavior ends. Our team requires us to keep videos of dissuading passengers to prove that we have made a difference, so we often have one person dissuading and one person filming videos in order to complete the complaint.

After being complained about, there is a risk of salary deduction, and it is necessary to reflect on where the problem lies in the future. Even if we are indeed in a dilemma, the rules and regulations will not change due to our situation.

To what extent can a sound be called "noisy"? In fact, there are no clear standards in the relevant management regulations, only regulations that do not affect the travel of other passengers. Therefore, we need to judge the standard of "noise" ourselves, which is relatively easy for me to distinguish. For example, in a carriage where passengers are in the middle or at one end, and I stand at the other end of the carriage, if I can hear them speaking loudly, I will remind them appropriately. If I cannot hear them or only communicate at normal volume, there is no need to remind them.

After the reminder, most parents are willing to cooperate with our work, but there are also parents who have serious resistance and will accuse me of discriminating against children, saying that speaking in public is also a child's right, and I have violated their rights. We have no choice but to patiently advise in this situation.

Some parents are very aggrieved and feel that their children are being reminded before they start arguing. Actually, we are also very helpless. Sometimes it's just that when you receive a complaint, you instinctively pay more attention to this aspect.

We always have safety reminders for passengers in the car, but it is not aimed at children. The only thing is that children have a wide range of reminders. We will remind them not to run around and be careful of falling. If there is food, we will also remind them to be careful of boiling water. The noisy reminder is just one aspect. We also have reminders for adults, mainly regarding taking off shoes and making phone calls. Our staff provide indiscriminate reminders, and sometimes parents may mistakenly believe that we are targeting children if they do not see our other reminders.

In my opinion, position determines mentality. The group with children believes that the public should be more tolerant of them, while the group without children will think that it is their right not to be disturbed. The contradiction between these two groups is sometimes difficult to reconcile. I am also a bit confused now: I think it is indeed my job responsibility to avoid noise inside the train carriage, and we will also strive to maintain order. However, the consequences of the conflict between these two groups always feel that we high-speed train attendants should not bear it.

"Whenever we have free time, we'll coax the children in the car now."

Narrator: Ding Yanan, 26, Shanghai Passenger Section Attendant of Shanghai Railway Bureau

As a flight attendant, the summer transportation work is indeed quite challenging. At the beginning, we didn't have a good solution to the sudden increase in feedback from children and other passengers about their children's noise. We could only increase the number of inspections of the carriages, and when encountering particularly noisy children, we could only repeatedly remind them. But this has also brought about new problems, such as low work efficiency and serious dissatisfaction among parents.

We have private meetings to discuss, and there will be different points of concern and reminders for children of different ages. For example, if a baby in our arms is crying, we will first care and ask if the baby is hungry or tired, or if they need to change diapers. Based on the care, we will provide targeted assistance and guide parents to hold the child to the connection of the carriage to sleep or provide a diaper changing console. For the slightly larger children running in groups of three to five in the carriage, we will first stop them and inform them that running in the carriage can be dangerous. Then we will take them to the seats to find their parents and remind them to pay attention to taking care of the children.

The crew members of Shanghai Passenger Transport Depot are taking care of the baby on the train. Respondents provide pictures

Our train is a long-distance train, so it is inevitable for children to be excited about traveling. When reminding them, we also take this characteristic into consideration, such as saying "speak softly, conserve energy, and wait until it arrives to have fun" to them.

We have also encountered parents with babies who cry incessantly. After guiding them to the connection point of the carriage, their parents take turns changing shifts and comforting the children at the connection point. They have not returned to their seats, and the passengers in the same carriage can also rest well. This situation also moves us very much.

If some children are really lively and playful, chasing and playing in the carriage, we will ask the parents, "Can I take the children to the junction to play for a while?" Then, with permission, we will take the children to the junction to tell stories or read pictures and books, and send them back when the children are tired of playing.

At present, everyone buys tickets on the Internet, and seat allocation is also a problem. Parents with children who buy two seats that are not together will also come to us to help coordinate. We can only guide passengers to negotiate with the passengers next to them on their own. There are also some parents with babies who have nowhere to put their strollers. We will also pay attention to this situation when they get on the stroller, help them coordinate and place them in relatively open carriages, and then help them get them in advance when they get off.

Due to frequent inspections, I have hardly received any complaints so far, and I have not handled any passenger complaints.

We try our best to give early warning before passengers report these situations, detect them and handle them in a timely manner, but this also increases our workload. Now, almost every shift is busy with other passengers, so we have to go and comfort the children as soon as possible. There are too many children. We hope to help passengers think about these issues in advance, so that they can also help us in their future work. This is a mutual process. And these are actually professional self-awareness unrelated to assessment and complaints.

"Social media has magnified everything that was once ordinary."

Narrator Lu You, 26-year-old conductor of the third motorcade of the Shanghai Passenger Transport Section of the Shanghai Railway Bureau

I have been working as a train attendant for 8 years and as a train conductor for 2 years. I have never felt that discussions about children making noise on high-speed trains are as focused and sharp as they are now. But to be honest, I really don't think this is a big problem in our work. Perhaps the ubiquitous social media has magnified everything that was originally ordinary.

Throughout July, I took 5 trips and 25 trains, and received a total of 4 complaints about the "travel code" next to the passenger seat, stating that there were noisy children near the seat and I hope the train attendants can come forward to coordinate.

Changxing Code is a high-speed rail service launched last year. Passengers do not need to communicate face-to-face with train attendants, and can scan the code to raise any problems they encounter during the ride. We will respond promptly. I have found that this mechanism provides many passengers with more choices and room for maneuver when expressing their opinions. Most passengers would choose to scan the code to inform the train conductor, rather than directly intervene to stop the parents of the "bear child" and avoid embarrassing each other.

This summer, I also saw comments on the internet about "bear kids" on high-speed trains, and some train attendants were too "cautious" about children getting on the train.

The video constantly reminding people to take precautions is actually a bit overcorrected.

At least on my train, the positions I saw regarding the "Bear Child" incident were relatively gentle on both sides. This may also be related to the high-speed rail service I am on, as the vast majority of my trains are short distance trains from Shanghai to tourist cities in the Yangtze River Delta such as Xuancheng and Qiandao Lake. The one or two hour journey also makes it difficult for children to lose control of their emotions and cause significant disturbance to surrounding passengers.

Actually, what kind of noise does a child make inside the carriage? This is also a relatively subjective judgment, as different people have varying levels of sensitivity to sound. However, the behavioral norms for passengers on the high-speed rail only briefly mention "not making loud noises, disturbing public order, and paying attention to taking care of children". The specific operation still needs to be solved based on the on-site judgment of the train attendants. If we encounter passengers who are too sensitive to children's voices, we will not simply ask them to lower their voices. Sometimes, we also consider transferring passengers who express their opinions to the dining car for rest.

On the other hand, most parents also try to make their children quieter and reduce interference with the people around them during the journey. However, sometimes they are really unable to cope and need to seek help from our train attendants to resolve the issue.

So compared to the complaints caused by children making noise, we encounter more frequent cases where parents take the initiative to seek help in advance.

I often see interesting scenes recently, where some parents of children come to me with a helpless expression, hoping that I can send a more imposing male train conductor to "deter" the noisy children at home, and sternly say to them, "Children under the age of 6 have never bought tickets. If you don't be quiet anymore, Uncle will take you off the train."

Every time I encounter such a request from parents, I try to ease their awkwardness by saying, "Do we have to be so aggressive to scare the children? Is it okay to say it with a friendly face?" The parents immediately shook their heads and said, "Perhaps a friendly attitude will have no effect."

However, as train attendants, we certainly do not advocate using the authority of the staff to suppress the nature of children. What we hope to do is to provide guidance.

A while ago, I experienced a somewhat tricky scene where two parents took five or six children on the high-speed rail, including their own children and children from relatives. These children are probably in the second or third grade of elementary school when they are older, while the younger ones look like a kindergarten class. A few children crowded around their seats playing games, their voices getting louder and louder, and the passengers around them began to show a little expression of patience. The parents immediately tried to dissuade the children, but failed. They came to us for help and suggested asking a tall male flight attendant to "remind" the children.

I calmed the anxious parents and decided to divert the children's attention in another way. At that time, there weren't many things on the train, so I took this group of children and parents to visit and explain the facilities on the two carriages around me, such as electric tea stoves, fire extinguishers, no smoking signs, and broken window hammers. The children's attention was quickly drawn to these things. When I explained the broken window hammer, a larger child even took the initiative to ask, "Have you never used this device yet? Because it's only used in accidents."

After returning to their seats, we did not remind these children further, but they clearly became much quieter. So my flight attendants and I all have a consensus: when a child is making noise in the carriage, not only should we patiently communicate with the parents, but if the child is not very young and has basic behavioral awareness, they should also be treated as independent individuals, and we should communicate directly with them with a friendly face. For example, "Children, now everyone is sitting in the carriage. Let's lower our voice slightly, so that we won't disturb other uncles and aunts to rest."

The crew members of Shanghai Passenger Transport Depot are explaining the equipment and facilities on the train to the children on board. Respondents provide pictures

Of course, we don't always have enough time to soothe the children on the train. More often than not, we can only do our best to provide passengers with the comforting items they need, such as children's stickers, paintbrushes and paper, and small blankets. I still remember a mother who asked me for a "dry tissue" because her two-year-old child was crying incessantly in the car. She said that since her child was born, she can fall asleep by grabbing a soft tissue. I quickly found a disposable face wash from my travel bag and gave it to her, but the child really fell asleep. Later on, I became curious and specifically checked parenting information. Indeed, some young children can fall asleep by grabbing a soft and dry lump of material.

Some parents also make careful preparations to avoid their children crying and causing harm to others in the car. I have seen a mother who immediately took out a lollipop and handed it to her child when she was feeling anxious and anxious because she was afraid of going through a tunnel. She also carried many flavors of lollipops with her and distributed them to the children around her, saving many parents in the car.

On the train, it's not just children who make noise. I recently met an uncle and aunt tour group going to Anji. They were extremely excited in the car, playing cards and chatting all the time, and their voices were quite loud. Later, some passengers reported this matter, and we stepped forward to remind them. The elderly people quickly apologized with embarrassment. In the following time, although they tried to lower their voices as much as possible, there was still noise, but the passengers in the carriage still accepted. Adults may even increase their volume due to excitement, let alone children? But sometimes, people have a much higher tolerance for adults making loud noises on high-speed trains.

We should still approach children with tolerance. Sometimes I think that seeing children on the high-speed train during the summer vacation may be just as common as seeing business travelers working with laptops on trains. And our mentality should also be corrected. They should not be representatives of potential noise sources, let alone targets of public criticism.

"Flight attendants should not be forced by work pressure to excessively remind parents to take good care of their children."

Narrator: Zhou Dingjun Railway Shanghai Bureau Shanghai Passenger Section High-speed Railway 3rd Fleet Vice-captain 35 years old

I have been working in the railway department for 10 years, and in fact, incidents of children causing disputes and conflicts in train carriages have always occurred. We have also received complaints from a few passengers about such incidents against train attendants. Why is it particularly noteworthy this year? I think this is related to the increase in railway passenger volume this year and the significant increase in the number of children traveling on high-speed rail.

For us, the issue of noisy children's carriages cannot be generalized. For example, the crying of infants under two years old is uncontrollable and can be understood by both passengers and staff; For children aged five or six and above, if they make noise or run in the carriage, we will give necessary reminders. We have a principle that only when children's noise affects the environment of the carriage and other passengers, will we come forward to remind them; If the child has not engaged in behaviors such as making noise or running, there is no need for us to remind parents and children.

Generally speaking, train attendants' reminders are effective. If there is still a situation of continued noise after being reminded, we will ask the train conductor to give it a second or third reminder, and most parents are still very cooperative.

A tricky situation is when the flight attendants receive complaints about stopping children from making noise. Some parents will refute the train conductor face-to-face; Some parents may complain afterwards, saying that the train conductor has a bad attitude and repeatedly reminds him to "lose face".

As a manager, when I see the complaint work order sent out, I actually have a rough idea in my mind. For example, if there are complaints with particularly strong language or insulting statements mentioned in the complaint, we will double check because based on our work experience, flight attendants with basic professional ethics are not very good at communicating with passengers in this way.

This year, there has been a sharp increase in the number of tourists for the summer transportation. In response to conflicts caused by children's noise, we will remind train attendants to pay special attention. For example, when reminding parents, the most basic thing is to have a good attitude and communicate with them calmly, without making parents feel that we are finding fault or targeting them.

But when facing complaints, I will still strictly follow the complaint process, investigate the relevant personnel of the team, access video surveillance, and restore the situation at that time. If it is verified that the handling by the train attendants is not a problem, we will explain the situation to the complaining passengers and comfort the relevant train attendants. In our fleet, train attendants will not be immediately beaten to death for their work performance just because they are complained about by passengers. So at least here, the phenomenon of parents being reminded indiscriminately to take care of their children due to work pressure will not exist. We should give every passenger basic trust.